Being judgmental has a negative connotation. People don’t want to be viewed this way, yet our brains are hardwired to categorize and generalize things so we can move through our day more efficiently and stay safe (e.g., a dog bearing its teeth is dangerous, and a cooing baby is not). Unfortunately, sometimes our brains make incorrect snap judgments about people and things, often before we realize it’s happening. This can become the basis of having unwarranted negative thoughts, or judging things without having the knowledge to truly understand them. This line of thinking is the enemy of being mindful, a state of being present in the moment and observing the world around us without forming opinions. Mindfulness has a range of benefits, including reducing stress, gaining clarity, and forming stronger connections with others. So to become more mindful, we need to recognize and challenge our brain’s propensity to generalize and categorize.
To start, we need to understand the difference between noticing something and judging it. When we judge things, we attach value to what we observe (e.g., it’s ugly or beautiful). These judgments create a story and evoke emotions; something is good because it’s beautiful or bad because it’s ugly. It makes things and people other, instead of part of the whole. It says that things or people are good and bad.
When we notice things without judging them, we can observe them as they are, without emotions. The simple definition of observation is the act of recognizing or noting a fact or occurrence.1 By taking away the black and white nature of snap judgments, we’re able to see the shades in between, which challenges our own conditioned thoughts. We notice the nuances of the world around us. No person or thing is all bad or all good.
The act of noticing does not include judgment. However, if you pay attention to your language, it often does. That house is ugly versus that house is purple. One way of separating judgments and observations is to consider holding your thoughts for a few moments in suspension. Holding a thought in suspension and observing your beliefs and biases may provide personal insight into how you established those opinions. Look for preconceived perceptions or conditioned beliefs, and then set them aside for a few moments. Next, reconsider the qualities of what you are observing and whether there might be more below the surface. (Maybe the house is purple because the elderly woman who lives there loves purple, and it makes her happy every time she goes outside.) This will help you foster compassion for what you don’t know.
Being non-judgmental means having a sense of neutrality. It is being able to accept things as they are without attaching a story or meaning to them. When you can do this, you will open the doors for experiencing the benefits of being mindful.
Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/observations
