I love being around young children as they are learning and honing their speaking skills. Even though infants and small children are able to communicate quite effectively without words, most quickly start vocalizing to better express their wants and ideas. As we get older, we become more skilled at using our words in speech and writing, but little changes in our basic approach to communicate more effectively.
We spend a lot of time in school learning correct grammar and phrasing, and how to get our point across. We learn to be clear in our communication and develop skills in presenting, selling, and telling a good story. We are taught not to lie, gossip, or slander people with our speech. We come to understand how our words can incite hate and violence, and be used as an attack to demean and abuse others. The reality is that words have power, and that power should not be taken lightly.
No matter how we choose to use our speech, it is a daily practice. Like everything else, we get better at it the more we use it. This practice can also be done mindfully.
Personally, I try to remember and use the acronym THINK, popularized by well-known British evangelist, pastor, and author Alan Redpath.
Ask yourself is your speech is it:
True
Helpful
Inspiring
Necessary
Kind
When I first started paying attention to this as I spoke, I began to realize that much of my conversation didn’t meet these criteria. I found myself speaking to burn off nervous energy, to prove a point well beyond sharing an opinion, and saying things that may not be classified as kind. We all do this. However, now, as I try to be more mindful in my speaking practice, I can work towards choosing words that matter and better express my intention. I can use words to inspire, uplift, encourage, generate hope, and share a kindness. I have also become more honest with myself, noticing when I am telling the truth—or stretching it a bit.
Admittedly, a lot of what we say might not seem necessary. Much of it is small talk, from asking strangers about their day, thanking the people we interact with, or talking about the weather. These niceties are a wonderful way to connect with fellow human beings, especially when accompanied by a smile.
So, as you speak today, just remember to THINK.
